Generals, they say, become adept at fighting the last war. In a very short article titled ‘Out Of The Box Thinking’, nearly four years back, I had brought out that the need to have uniformed services, both in dress code and in demeanour and response, keeps the armed forces from truly encouraging (and not paying mere lip-service to) out of the box thinking. A few years back when the subject of out of the box thinking became the flavour-of-the-month in the armed forces, its fall-out was as curious as the Army, forever engaged with Pakistan, being told to act ‘strategic‘ and hence starting every operational presentation with focus on the Indian Ocean. It was as fascinating as comical when I took the Naval Higher Command Course with me as Director of the College of Naval Warfare to the Northern Command units from 2007 to 2009 and they would start their presentation, say, in the Leh Div, by focussing on the Indian Ocean. This is from my page ‘Make Your Own Quotes’ on the Facebook:
I can imagine the army big-wigs giving orders to the subordinate commands, corps, divisions, brigades, and battalions to ensure that out of the box thinking becomes standard, routine and uniformed way of thinking in the units. Also, every unit has to show records and returns of the out of the box thinking that it has indulged in at a fixed interval.
So, if you then reach the conclusion that armed forces people are not meant for out-of-the-box-thinking, you are in for a huge surprise. There is one sure innovation that a new incumbent anywhere in the armed forces cannot resist and that is to look down on what the previous incumbent used to do and bring about a change. Lets say a new Commanding Officer takes over. As soon as the handing-over/taking-over is completed, he/she issues out an order: “All orders of my predecessor shall remain in force unless or until amended by me.” However, soon after issuing this mandatory order, his/her mind starts working overtime to amend all previous orders.
This is called the Ninety-Days Leadership Impact Syndrome. One has to make a quick-impact within ninety days of taking over so that your superiors would notice how quickly you have brought about a “long-overdue change“. You start with what has now become standard lingo in the armed forces and industry alike: quick-wins. One of the sure-shot quick-wins is to standardise correspondence, mails, reports, returns, procedures and policies that your predecessor (somehow busy in other matters; poor chap) was never able to do. The fallacy with this quick-win is that you never bothered to find out if your predecessor already did so (being the product of the same system, after all). Indeed, whenever anyone of the previous regime (these unfortunate and uninformed guys are left-out by the headquarters for – hold your breath – providing continuity) essays to bring out the rationale behind how things used to be done earlier, your first reaction is to snub him/her with: “Don’t tell me anything of your previous knowledge” (Please also read ‘Ten Things To Avoid As A Leader’). You also earmark such people as resistant-to-change and discuss with your contemporaries how difficult your job is going to be to get people out of their mould.
(Pic courtesy: www.qvidian.com)
Your so-called contemporaries are only too eager to be on your side by suggesting how to bring about the desirable change as quickly as possible.
Here is an imaginary discussion (the more discussions that you have the more you are seen as the right man for bringing about the desirable and long-overdue change) between a new incumbent (NI) and his trusted (to help him bring about change) new-order cronies (NOC) in the presence of OGs (Old-order Guys):
NI: I have been thinking about making the sun rise in the East. I can think of getting excellent dividends through this new concept.
OG1 (trying to butt-in to bring out that the sun always rose in the East and that it was not a new idea at all): Sir, our previous CO used to……
NI (showing his extreme displeasure at the mention of ‘previous CO’): Now don’t again start with what was being done with the old regime; India wasn’t free on 14th August 1947 but it became free the very next day because people changed their thinking.
NOC (seeing in this an opportunity to brown-nose the NI): Sir, the other day I was reading a book by Yoshihito Kawasaki (“I hope it registers with NI that me and my generation are endowed with forward-looking thinking“) and he brings out that the very reason that Japan emerged as a leading economy in the world, despite having been defeated in the Second World War, was only because they have aligned their thinking to the Sun rising in the East. ‘Land of the Rising Yen’ was made possible only by slight change in the way they looked at the Sun.
OG2 (trying to make another determined effort to bring home the fact that there is nothing new in the Sun rising in the East): But Sir, from times immemorial….
(Pic courtesy: blog.close.io)
NOC2 (seizing the opportunity to align himself with the thinking of the new Sun: NI): Indeed, Sir, what NOC1 has brought out has merit; not just Japan but even Korea and Singapore profited by thinking of Sun rising in the East.
NI: I know it is going to be difficult to make the Sun rise in the East. As OG2 was saying (!), from times immemorial it has been doing the opposite. To make it change to modern way of thinking would be difficult. But, gentlemen, when the going gets tough the tough gets going (says it as if he has suddenly invented a new phrase; indeed, all NOCs make ostensible note of it in their writing pads!). As Napoleon said “Impossible is a word in the dictionary of the fools”.
NOC3: I totally agree with you, Sir. Bringing about a change is always very difficult. However, if we can do the impossible, which we are very capable of doing, the dividends are far too huge.
OG1: But Sir…
NI: No ifs and buts. A lot of our time in India is dissipated in focussing on and discussing ifs and buts. I want a quick action plan within a month about how to make the Sun rise in the East. And, don’t forget to make the plan in the new format that has been already promulgated by my Staff Order. I am fed up of each person devising his own format. That’s not where we want out-of-the-box thinking.
OG2 (after the crucial meeting; to himself, the only person who listens to him): They will soon discover that the Sun always rose in the East! It is totally still. It is the Earth that rotates; and since the Earth rotates in Easterly direction, the Sun appears to rise in the East.
Of course, the NI and NOCs discover the fact of Sun always rising in the East, but, their out-of-the-box thinking would have earned them many awards and honours that the OGs could have only dreamt about since they were so resistant-to-change.
Life goes on until the NI and NOCs become OGs and a new NI comes with another bright idea.
इस से पहले के बेवफाई का मुझे दो तगमा,
अपने एहसास में आने दो वह प्यारा नग़मा;
जो दिल की धड़कन के साज़ से जुबां तक पहुंचा,
कहाँ आगाज़ हुआ था और कहाँ तक पहुंचा.
इस से पहले के बेवफाई का …..
पास रह कर भी तुम दूर चले जाते थे,
मेरी मजबूर तमन्ना को और भी तरसाते थे,
दिल की आवाज़ बन के रह जाती थी सदमा.
इस से पहले के बेवफाई का …
ये दीवार मैंने नहीं तुम्ही ने तो बनायी थी,
कहाँ थी तुम जब पास सिर्फ तन्हाई थी?
मेरी खामोशी उस वक़्त थी मेरे दिल की मेहमान,
इस से पहले के बेवफाई का …
अब हम नहीं, तुम नहीं और हयात भी नहीं,
उल्फत की राहों में सुलगते जज़्बात भी नहीं,
सिसकियाँ भर के खत्म हो गए सब अरमान.
इस से पहले के बेवफाई का …
(Pic courtesy: www.smsmaja.com)
Iss se pehle ke bewafai kaa mujhe do taghma,
Apane ehsaas mein aane do woh pyaara naghma;
Jo dil ki dhadhkan ke saaz se zubaan tak pahuncha,
Kahaan aagaaz huaa tha aur kahaan taq pahuncha.
Iss se pehle ki bewafai kaa…..
Pass reh kar bhi tum door chale jaate the,
Meri majboor tamanna ko aur bhi tarsaate the,
Dil ki awaaz ban ke reh jaati thi sadma.
Iss se pehle ke bewafai kaa…
Ye deewar maine nahin tumhi ne to banaayi thi,
Kahaan thi tum jab pass sirf tanhaayi thi?
Meri khaamoshi us waqt thi dil ki mehmaan,
Iss se pehle ke bewafai kaa…
Ab ham nahin, tum nahin woh hayaat bhi nahin,
Ulfat ki raahon mein sulagate jazbaat bhi nahin,
Siskiyan bhar ke khatam ho gaye sab armaan
Iss se pehle ke bewafai ka…
The other day when I put up here yet another post about our staff course (I think the post was ‘The Great Wanderlust In Staff College’, one of the ladies mentioned that I must bring out a post regarding the parallel ‘staff course’ that goes on in DSSC (Defence Services Staff College). This one involves the ladies, that is.
His name was Selvaraj. Before long many of the DHs (Desperate Housewives) had enrolled for his baking, cooking and chocolate making classes. Initially, after the ladies tried their hand at it on their own at home (that is, without the baker cum cook cum magician showing them how to), we would get bread that could be used to drive nails in the walls. However, gradually, they improved. In the end, if you can make out a psc (passed staff course) officer by his penchant for making simple things complicated, pssc (passed Selvaraj’s staff course) ladies can be made out from the excellence of their baking and chocolate making skills. So years later when an officer and his wife (“good lady” as our Army counterparts call her!) invite you for dinner and you get the distinct aroma of home-baked breads followed by chocolates after dessert, you are bound to ask (directing the question neutrally between the two of them): “When did you complete your staff course?” Post dinner conversation then would assuredly be about Selvaraj and his varied skills.
I hope the Staff College has honoured the services of Selvaraj (that have made significant contribution towards the grooming of “good ladies” of the army and (possibly) wicked ones of the navy and the air-force) by erecting a small memorial shaped like a chocolate wrapped in shining coloured paper tied with golden or silver thread or ribbon.
Anyway, let me get back to the narrative.
We were out for about ten days for FAT (Forward Area Tour) to the North East. At one time it used to be towards J&K but then, our “friendly neighbour to the North West” (that is how we used to refer to Pakistan during Staff Course! As I mentioned, we excelled in making simply things complicated) decided to ‘bleed us by a thousand cuts’; and it was decided that going closer to our “friendly neighbour to the North East” provided us with greater hope of returning alive. We took off from Coimbatore (A&EHU (Aircraft and Engine Hauling Unit, Sulur to be exact) and landed in Bagdogra. As soon as we started negotiating the NE hills, we became familiar with one land slide or the other and many a times, life did hang from a thin thread. For example, we were stuck on a precipitous road because there was a land-slide ahead. And then a huge rock decided to dislodge itself from the hill and came down on our convoy (if you recall from a previous anecdote ‘Bridging The Gap In Staff College’ our foursome was busy at Bridge when this happened). As per eye-witnesses’ account, it is only at the last-minute that the rock decided to alter course from directly heading towards disrupting our Bridge game and our lives and pass precariously between our one tonner and a three tonner behind us. It was, as you say so often in the armed forces, touch and go.
Here is a picture of some of my pals during the FAT:
So with these kinds of hair-raising experiences, we were now headed back to DSSC and the talk started about “lady wives” or “good ladies“. One of the Army course mates (he is an excellent singer) broke into: “Chala jaata hoon kisi ki dhun mein…” (I keep going singing her tune….) and we all joined in. One of the stanzas is translated into:
[lineate][/lineate]That world will be so different[lineate][/lineate]When she’d come near me, I swear[lineate][/lineate]She would, at times, try to free her arms from mine[lineate][/lineate]And then, at times, she’d embrace me;[lineate][/lineate]She’d come into my arms, holding all kinds of dreams for me.[lineate][/lineate]
We were young and honestly the thought of reuniting with our loved ones was becoming stronger by the moment. One of the Army officers started painting the scene of his reunion distinctly: “She’d be clad in her best saree, with large vermilion bindi (dot on the forehead), holding a pooja thali (prayer plate), waiting for me at the door itself…..”
(Pic courtesy: m.inmagine.com)
And then we disembarked from the buses and headed home with our rucksacks and bags. I can patch up the story of others later; but, here was the scene at my home:
Both Arjun and Arun were at home watching Micky Mouse cartoons on the telly and our maid Regina was busy in the kitchen. But, there was no sign of Lyn. A & A said she’d be returning home any time (it was seven in the evening) as she was wont to do almost everyday.
After Lyn returned at about 9 PM (late for a hill-station like Coonoor), then the story came out.
Most of the ladies in the ‘Staff Course’ of Selvaraj’s cooking and baking classes had formed a group. Every evening, one lady by rotation would invite all the others to demonstrate her newly acquired culinary skills. The ladies had a feast every evening for ten days of our FAT. They knew about our return that evening and hence had organised a valedictory feast and that’s why it continued till 9 PM. Sorry, she said, but most often than not flights and buses arrived late and 9 PM wasn’t that much of a waiting for the men.
Next day, as we compared notes, all the other officers confirmed that they went through similar waits.
And that included the army officers whose “good ladies” were imagined to be waiting for them with pooja thalis, in red sarees and vermilion bindis.
Thankfully for Selvaraj we didn’t meet him on that night; else, we would have taught him a thing or two about cooking and baking.
On my Facebook group Yaad Kiya Dil Ne, I organise online Music Fests once or twice in a month. These Fests are contests on a chosen theme. The last theme on the weekend of 28th and 28th March was on Zamaana or Duniyaa.
Members realised that there are literally hundreds of songs on this theme. So, they took it upon themselves to put up rare and extraordinary songs. I normally do not put up any posts of mine since I judge the contests. However, on this occasion I put up three of Shakeel’s creations. I realised that Shakeel had much to say on Zamaana or Duniya.
These are interspersed with my own adulatory poetry about him.
Here is the first one.
Music Fest On Zamaana or Duniya Day #2, Song #1
Aye Mohabbat Tere Anjaam Pe Rona Aaya
Shakeel Badayuni was all about Duniya, Zamaana, Zindagi. And I note with satisfaction that quite a few of his songs and ghazals have been selected by members for this Fest.
I also note with satisfaction that the cover picture song of Chhod do aanchal zamaana kya kahega has been put up by Shashi Patil. I am on Ghazals in Hindi movies on my page Lyrical and the Anmol Ghadi ghazal of Noor Jehan: Awaaz de kahan hai duniya meri jawan hai was put up by me last night and today morning it was here in the Fest.
Whilst Suraiyya and Noor Jehan were successively given the honorific title of Mallika-e-Tarunnam (Queen of Melody), there has been only one Mallika -e-Ghazal and that was Begum Akhtar. She could make or mar a lyricist simply by lending or not lending her voice to his/her ghazal.
So much so that the world over, the most famous ghazal ever Aye mohabbat tere anjaam pe rona aaya is widely regarded as Begum Akhtar ghazal!
It is, nevertheless, the best ghazal of my favourite poet and lyricist Shakeel Badayuni. He never wrote! As I have often mentioned, he painted the emotions of his heart and presented them to us. And guess what? Once again all known senses were used the least and this painting was registered straight by the heart.
In short, Shakeel excelled in heart to heart poetry.
Here is in his own words:
Main Shakeel Dil Ka Hoon Tarjuman Keh Mohabbaton Ka Hoon Raazdaan Mujhe Fakhr Hai Meri Shayari Meri Zindagi Se Juda Nahin
He was a poet who excelled in Irony and the last couplet of the ghazal (the ghazal has both Duniya and Zamaana in it) brings out this so well:
Jab huaa zikr zamaane mein mohabbat kaa ‘Shakeel’ Mujhako apane dil-e-naakaam pe ronaa aayaa
If you find better words in self-worthlessness, do let me know.
Here is my small and insignificant tribute to him:
Hamen Shakeel ki shayari kyun pasand hai,
Dil ke taar baja kar woh chala jaata hai,
Phir ham chain o neend apni kho dete hain
Guzra hua zamaana hamen yaad aata hai
Kyaa rang tha, kyaa noor tha, gham-e-aashiqi thi
Woh aalam dil-e-jahan pe chha jaata hai
Door kahin Naushad ki mosiqi ki dhun bajti hai
Dil khud-ba-khud gaata hai aur sunaata hai
Waah Shakeel, mar ke bhi tum zinda hi rahe
Har Fest YKDN pe tumhaari Yaad dilaata hai.
This is not on the music of Naushad but Murli Manohar Swarup.
Please enjoy: Aye mohabbat tere anjaam pe rona aaya…..
Ai mohabbat tere a.njaam pe ronaa aayaa
jaane kyuu.N aaj tere naam pe ronaa aayaa
yuu.N to har shaam umiido.n me.n guzar jaatii thii
aaj kuchh baat hai jo shaam pe ronaa aayaa
kabhii taqadiir kaa maatam kabhii duniyaa kaa gilaa
ma.nzil-e-ishq me.n har gaam pe ronaa aayaa
jab hu_aa zikr zamaane me.n mohabbat kaa ‘shakiil’
mujhako apane dil-e-naakaam pe ronaa aayaa
Music Fest On Zamaana or Duniya Day #2, Song #2
Shakeel Badayuni Again
I can think of another twenty songs and ghazals of Shakeel Badayuni on the theme of the fest. He took songs to a new low of despondency in the 1966 Raj Khosla movie Do Badan starring Manoj Kumar, Asha Parekh and Simi Grewal. Look at the list of songs in this movie:
1. Jab Chali Thandi Hawa sung by Asha Bhosle
2. Bhari Duniya Mein Akhir Dil, Mohammad Rafi
3. Raha Gardishun Main Har Dum, Mohammad Rafi
4. Naseeb Mein Jisko Jo, Mohammad Rafi
5. Lo Aa Gayi Unki Yaad, Lata Mangeshkar
6. Mat Jayio Naukariya Chor Ke, Asha Bhosle
7. Raha Gardishun Mein (Repris’se) Mohammad Rafi
8. Lo Aa Gayi unki Yaad (Reprise) Lata Mangeshkar
Here is a couplet from Raha gardisho mein har dum:
Padhe jab ghamon se pale, rahe mitake nitane waale, Jise maut ne na poochha, use zindagi ne maara…
The song that I am going to put up has both Duniya and Zamaana there once again. It is a cry of the heart, a hopelessness induced by the evil world against true love. Ravi is the composer, just as in Milind’s song Chaudhvinh ka chaand (another Shakeel song) he is the composer in a song wherein Waheeda is called the World of Beauty (duniyaa-e-husn) by Shakeel.
History is full of coincidences. Imagine when Shakeel was alive, to sing his songs and ghazals, we had Begum Akhtar and Rafi.
Here is my take on this coincidence:
Aap ke khayaal kitane haseen the Shakeel Mohabbat ka ek naya andaaz ho gaya Ham pehale se hi aapke qaayal to na the, Padha, suna, socha aur hamen naaz ho gaya Dil ki dhadkan tez hui hamen pata hi naa chala Jab Shakeel ki shayari ka aagaaz ho gaya Aap ke geeton ka dard-e-gham sunaate hi, Har gulokaar sarfaraz ho gaya.
Please enjoy: Bhari duniya mein aakhir dil ko samjhaane kahan jaayen…
Bharii duniyaa me.n aaKir dil ko samajhaane kahaa.N jaae.n
Muhabbat ho ga_ii jinako vo diivaane kahaa.N jaae.n
lage hai.n shammaa par pahare zamaane kii nigaaho.n ke
jinhe.n jalane kii hasarat hai vo paravaane kahaa.N jaae.n
sunaanaa bhii jinhe.n mushkil chhupaanaa bhii jinhe.n mushkil
zaraa tuu hii bataa ai dil vo afasaane kahaa.N jaae.n
Music Fest On Zamaana or Duniya Day #2, Song #3
Shakeel Badayuni Again
The third song, at random, of Shakeel Badayuni that I put up this morning; and the third with both Duniya and Zamaana in it.
Here is Shayar-e-Azam penning his songs for the movie Mughal-e-Azam; meeting of minds of two emperors.
Shakeel and Naushad had already put up some outstanding numbers that are still the standard in songs in Hindi movies. However, in the magnum-opus of 1960, the K Asif’s iconic movie Mughal-e-Azam, they went beyond their own standards. The songs touched new heights in popularity and everyone was singing them.
Once again, look at the songs they created:
1. “Mohe Panghat Pe” Lata Mangeshkar and chorus
2. “Pyar Kiya To Darna Kya” Lata Mangeshkar and chorus
3. “Mohabbat Ki Jhooti” Lata Mangeshkar
4. “Humen Kash Tumse Mohabbat” Lata Mangeshkar
5. “Bekas Pe Karam Keejeye” Lata Mangeshkar
6. “Teri Mehfil Mein” Lata Mangeshkar, Shamshad Begum and chorus
7. “Ye Dil Ki Lagi” Lata Mangeshkar
8. “Ae Ishq Yeh Sab Duniyawale” Lata Mangeshkar
9. “Khuda Nigehbaan” Lata Mangeshkar
10. “Ae Mohabbat Zindabad” Mohammed Rafi and chorus
11. “Prem Jogan Ban Ke” Bade Ghulam Ali Khan
12. “Shubh Din Aayo Raj Dulara” Bade Ghulam Ali Khan
What is the movie all about? An expression of not just Love between a prince and a courtesan but also one of rebelliousness against the attitude of duniya and zamaana that looks down on love that is not between equals.
When Shakeel was asked to pen the lyrics, he must have kept in mind this theme and hence came up with the song as a symbol of this rebelliousness: Pyaar kiya to darna kyaa…parda nahin jab koi khuda se, bando se parda karna kyaa?
K Asif added further meaning to the song by shooting the song in Sheesh Mahal of Lahore Fort. So when Madhubala dancing elegantly on this number sings: Chhup na sakega ishq hamaare, chaaron taraf hai unaka nazaara, she is reflected in hundreds of mirrors in the ceiling of the sheesh mahal; a master stroke by K Asif.
Here is my take on this:
Shakeel, aap geeton mein phoonk dete the jaan, Dhadakon ka khazaana ban jaata tha jahaan Kyaa taaqat thi aap ke alfaaz mein Insaan bhi ban baithata tha bhagwaan “Pyaar kiya to darna kyaa” sirf geet hi nahin hai Ye rivaayat se baghawat ka hai ailaan.
Lata Mangeshkar was the instrument of this rebellion for Madhubala.
Please enjoy: Pyaar kiya to darna kyaa….
insaan kisii se duniyaa me.n ik baar muhabbat karataa hai
is dard ko lekar jiitaa hai, is dard ko lekar marataa hai
pyaar kiyaa to Daranaa kyaa jab pyaar kiyaa to Daranaa kyaa
pyaar kiyaa koii chorii nahii.n kii pyaar kiyaa…
pyaar kiyaa koii chorii nahii.n kii chhup chhup aahe.n bharanaa kyaa
jab pyaar kiyaa to Daranaa kyaa
pyaar kiyaa to Daranaa kyaa jab pyaar kiyaa to Daranaa kyaa
aaj kahe.nge dil kaa fasaanaa jaan bhii lele chaahe zamaanaa -2
maut vohii jo duniyaa dekhe
maut vohii jo duniyaa dekhe ghuT ghuT kar yuu.N maranaa kyaa
jab pyaar kiyaa to Daranaa kyaa
pyaar kiyaa to Daranaa kyaa jab pyaar kiyaa to Daranaa kyaa
unakii tamannaa dil me.n rahegii, shammaa isii mahafil me.n rahegii hbox{-2}
ishq me.n jiinaa ishq me.n maranaa
ishq me.n jiinaa ishq me.n maranaa aur hame.n ab karanaa kyaa
jab pyaar kiyaa to Daranaa kyaa
pyaar kiyaa to Daranaa kyaa jab pyaar kiyaa to Daranaa kyaa
chhup na sakegaa ishq hamaaraa chaaro.n taraf hai unakaa nazaaraa -2
paradaa nahii.n jab koii khudaa se
paradaa nahii.n jab koii khudaa se ba.ndo.n se paradaa karanaa kyaa
jab pyaar kiyaa to Daranaa kyaa
pyaar kiyaa to Daranaa kyaa jab pyaar kiyaa to Daranaa kyaa
pyaar kiyaa koii chorii…
Nearly five years back I did a comprehensive piece on ‘Leadership In The Navy – Past, Present And Future’ and then within a month, having retired from the Indian Navy, I joined a corporate on the civvie street. This article takes into consideration a number of things that I have closely observed in the environment around me. I am convinced that avoiding these things would make a person a much more effective leader.
The Number One Leadership tenet, of course, is that Leadership must be a secondary trait to Love. A Leader cannot be an effective Leader unless he or she is driven by a feeling of love towards his or her resources; the most precious of these being human resource. If you are driven by Love and in the corporate sector not the love for money, you are already on the way to becoming an effective leader. Regrettably, corporates think of a Leader as someone who commands not more respect but more money and many of these leaders actually end up being paid heavily in the hope that they would bring about the necessary change or transformation; which in turn results into being more profitable and hence earning more money. This is from my page ‘Make Your Own Quotes’:
Why is this important? I can give several reasons. However, two of these stand out. One is my favourite tenet: Good leaders have good men. Indeed, Good leaders have good all round resources. This doesn’t mean that their talent hunt is so good that they are able to get good men or women from the market or best resources. It means that what they have quickly become good men and women and resources by the feeling of Love that generates ownership and belongingness. Two, Love rules out an agenda other than to see the best development of your company and resources.
With this background, lets go straight into the Ten Things to Avoid as A Leader.
#1Falsehood. A leader must have high Credibility with those he or she hopes to lead. False promises, both direct and implied, spell ruin. There can be falsehood in things other than promises too. For example, if the people read in your intent motives totally different from the ones proclaimed, your efforts at sincerity are likely to sound as hollow to them as the arguments of a lawyer who knows his client has done something wrong but still argues in his favour because of promise of fees or remuneration. You may cover up your intent by grandiose advertisement campaigns or HR blitzkrieg, but, you won’t have won people’s loyalty. Remember: loyalty is obtained by loyalty and not by spectacular campaigns. Another pertinent and prevalent example of Falsehood is when you promise to bring about a change and openly denigrate what your predecessor(s) were doing; but in the end, you do exactly the same thing, people below you think of it as a great falsehood perpetrated by you.
#2 Focus on or Driven by only Short Term Goals. From national leadership to anywhere in the corporates leaders are nowadays busy with short-term goals. New language evolves and we have a new and respectable name for this; it is called ‘quick-wins’. Regrettably, many leaders do not go beyond these quick-wins to think about long term development. When you go to South India, you come across temples, for example Somnath temple, that took more than 100 years in construction. Nowadays, people seek instant gratification not just in their lifetime but also in their tenures as leaders which are shortened due to frequent job-hopping. Nevertheless, posterity remembers leaders that look after the long term goals of the company, employees and themselves.
#3 Wasting Time on Unproductive Activities such as PPTs. Leaders should never forget that Meetings, Workshops, Brainstorming sessions and Conferences are means to achieve an end and not an end by themselves. Dissipating unduly time at getting PPTs right, for example, may sound impressive but would eventually result into micromanagement of such petty things as font-size, colour and slides layouts. I have seen many so-called leaders getting engrossed in the endless process of getting-it-right and devising new vocabulary to mask their penchant for petty corrections. Great leaders do not waste time in forever controlling everything in meetings, PPTs etc but demonstrate their ability to take in the real issues involved.
#4Parochialism. Diversity is the flavour of the month in corporates these days; especially amongst those that desire to emerge as global players. However, we are at the level of paying lip-service to it whilst ensuring that increasingly people from our own backgrounds, regions and religions join and progress in the company. The best thing that I read about Bias is that you have a bias to prove your bias right. All kinds of reasoning finds its way into thought-processes why people of our background only “will be able to do justice to the tough requirements of the job.” The problem with such parochial thinking is that you lose the right yo lead all but your favoured lot. It is like a government coming into power and looking after the interests of only those who voted for it.
#5Different Rules for Different People. A good leader is consistent about the application of rules, regulations, procedures and practices. He doesn’t give orders that he cannot follow himself. Indeed, whenever he starts a new practice or wants to bring about a change, he leads the change. Everywhere in India we have already spoiled social fabric by inequitable application of rules and privileges. The moment you do so people assume their status to be different or privileged. The oft asked question if such people is: “Pata nahin main kaun hoon?” (Don’t you know who I am?)
#6 Previous Credentials. You join a new company as a senior leader. You denigrate all their previous experiences. You assume that you have been brought there to bring about a change. So, without even understanding how their system works, you jump headlong into imposing your previous experience on them. You must remember that nothing is more frustrating to your new team. It took them years to build up to the system and you straightway commenced throwing the baby along with the bath-water. You don’t just have a vocabulary to support you in your pursuit of bringing about a change, you have an entire philosophy at your disposal. You can quote hundreds of anecdotes and management principles about how Change is painful but necessary; and, how to bring the recalcitrant around to your point. Indeed, in addition to imposing your previous credentials, you now revel in gradually doing away with resistance to change. but, the fact is that you should have first studied the system that you were going to inherit before embarking on the Change Journey.
(Pic courtesy: agbutler.deviantart.com)
#7 Constant Change. This is another favoured phrase which is somewhat similar to ‘quick-wins’. You convince people that Change is forever and in order to stay relevant you have to constantly reinvent. Often a major change that you indulge in is followed by another and so on. You want to be counted amongst the well-read. You brought about a transformation and everyone works the midnight oil going through it. No sooner have you completed it that you read another few books and want to bring in more changes. Vocabulary and anecdotes to suit your current pursuit are readily available. You compare life to a river than to a pond and so on. Unknowing to you, people, always being on a roller coaster ride are confused. You never allowed them to come to steady state.
#8 Ruling By Mistrust Loyalty cannot be bought with money. It has to be won with the currency of loyalty. So, if you have built up an environment of mistrust and intrigue in your organisation wherein people speak in whispers and look furtively if the big-brother is watching; you yourself would be a victim of this mistrust. You are forever checking people’s private mails because you have the power to do so or because your IT policy evasively says so, sooner or later, the Spy versus Spy atmosphere that you set in comes to haunt you.
#9 Excellent Speaking But Poor Listening Skills. A great leader is not merely a good speaker well versed with great communications skills and story-telling; a great leader is first and foremost a great listener. A monologue by a leader is something that is not welcome. How many times I have come across so-called leaders who insist that the questions at the end of their talks should be short; but, they, at the shortest question launch themselves into longer and longer harangues. Hogging the limelight in meetings, conferences, seminars without listening to anyone especially dissenting views make for poor leadership qualities. Just as good oratory need to be practised, a good leader should have practised the art of good listening.
#10 All’s well that ends well. Ends don’t justify means. As you climb up the rungs of the ladder of leadership, the short cuts that you took would come and haunt you. In today’s world of transparency put into place by social media and other means, before you know it., your aberrations are made as public as Clinton’s aberrations with Monica Lewinsky. Just because you are in a position to meet the goals, just because you appear to have charisma, doesn’t give you the right to do the wrong things. Of course, these days, we see the wrong-doers ostensibly doing well, having ostentatious life-styles and privileges; but, you would probably win battles with this approach and lose wars.
We have all studied Abraham Maslow’s pyramid of needs when we were in the school. We know that at the basic level are the Physiological needs, ie, needs of Food, Water, Shelter etc. As Abraham Maslow points out, only when the needs at one level are met that you can go up to the next higher level. To illustrate this, we had a Punjabi anecdote about a beggar being taught maths. He was asked: “Do ate do kinne hunde ne?” (How much is two plus two?) Promptly he replied: “Chaar rotiyan” (Four rotis).
I sometimes feel that however much we, as Indians, try to get to higher levels of needs: Safety Needs, Belongingness Needs, Esteem Needs and Self-actualization Needs, something constantly pulls us down to the Basic Needs.
A few months ago I put up an article extolling the virtues of walking outdoors as opposed to working out in a gym (Please read ‘Walking Or Gym? I Like It In The Open’). If you read the article, you would find that I have brought out that being one with the Nature, observing the sky, birds, flowers, hills, trees and breathing in fresh air would tilt the scale in favour of walks in the open anytime in comparison to being in the gym. The article has lovely pictures of all that I observe during the walks even though I walk very fast. Kharghar, in Navi Mumbai, is where I stay and I love these walks.
Many others, I mentioned, also walk and be with nature, dawn, breeze and surroundings.
However, two years back, a village woman spread a sheet on the pavement and started selling vegetables. Of course, walks were forgotten and people started buying vegetables. Seeing this success, now we have a full fledged vegetable and fruit bazaar at that spot. People now come for walks only so that they can buy fruits and vegetables.
I can imagine shops or kiosks selling screwdrivers, hammers, pliars etc outside fun parks such as Esselworld or Imagica. In India, these would do booming business. I can also actually imagine us Indians going to see the Taj Mahal and returning home after buying “really cheap and fresh vegetables and fruits” from pavements outside one of the Seven Wonders of the World.
Life goes on. We are never too far from the humdrum of life; not even for half an hour of morning walks.
I am reminded of Santa coming home after office and telling Preeto: “Preeto aaj maine 10 rupaiye bacha liye“. (Preeto, I saved 10 rupees today)
Preeto: “Vo kaise?” (How’s that?)
Santa: “Main bus ke beeche bhaaga aur bhaag bhaag kar office pahunch gaya“. (I ran after a bus and ran all the way to the office)
Preeto: “Paagal ho ji aap; taxi ke peechhe bhaagate to 100 rupaiye bach jaate“. (You are mad; if you’d run after a cab, we could have saved 100 rupees)
Imagine the same Santa coming home after buying 1kg of apples during his morning walk and saving all of five rupees; and Preeto telling him if he had purchased 10 kgs each of aaloo (potatoes) and pyaaz (onions) he could have saved up to 30 rupees.
Sample of conversation between two Kharghar ladies:
Lady One: “Pichhale char paanch dino se aap morning walk ke liye nahin aati, kyun?” (For the last few days you haven’t been coming for walks, why?)
Lady Two: “Maine achhe rates par poore hafte ki subji khreed li. Khatam ho jaaye, phir aati hoon aur khreedane ke liye.” (I have bought vegetables for the next one week. When they finish, then I shall come (for walks) to buy more)
Lady One: “Aa jayo naa, good quality ke cheekhu aaye hain…”
(Do start coming for walks again; good quality cheekhus (Sapota plums) have arrived in the market)
Or, taste this imaginary talk between two Kharghar men:
Man1: “Ham jahaan jaate hain mar kha ke aate hain“. (Wherever I go, I get beaten)
Man2: “Ham jahan jaate hain mar ket lagate hain“. (Wherever I go, I start a market)
Mera Bharat Mahaan!
Overheard a Kharghar man telling another: “Subah walk ke bahut fayade hain: Aloo pyaaz market se do rupaiya saste milte hain aur apples to paanch rupaye saste. Hamaare pitaji kaha karte the: ‘morning walks are very healthy’. Pitaji ko kaise pata yahan market khulane waali hai?” (Morning walks are very useful: Potatoes and onions are all of Rupees two rupees (per kilo) cheaper than the market and apples are five rupees cheaper. My father used to tell me: ‘morning walks are very healthy. How did my father know here (in Kharghar) they are going to start a (fruits and vegetables) market on the pavement?
I told the above to a few of my friends. They made light of it by invoking multi-tasking. Oh yeah? It is the same multi-tasking that makes us busily talking on the cell phones and even sending sms and whatsapp messages whilst driving; or playing video games whilst watching a movie in a multiplex.
One of the Golf jokes is about a funeral procession with a Golf-bag kept on a cortege. A passer-by remarked that the deceased must have been a great aficionado of Golf. One of the mourners said, “It is the funeral of his wife; he has a foursome immediately after the match.” In the case of we, Indians, the funeral procession could have carried a shopping-bag for buying fruits and vegetables.
One of the Hagar the Horrible cartoon showed Hagar in his full battle armour leaving his house and proclaiming to Helga: “I am going to invade England. Glory, honour and riches await me.” And Helga telling him, “On your way out, can you take the garbage-pail for emptying in the drum?”
For the Normans it might have been just a cartoon. For us Indians, it is a way of life.
P.S. I am contemplating shifting to quiet and peace of the gym as opposed to walks in the open.
Now that I am on recounting the nostalgic memories of my tenure as a student in Staff College, I cannot forget the experience of the games we used to play there.
I tried my hand at Golf and found it curious that they measure ‘handicap‘ in single and double digits. Unlike in cricket, they had no respect for a centurion like me; ugh!
I tried my hand at Badminton and discovered the meaning of the first three letters of the game.
I tried my hand (and legs!) at Cricket and found that I was ‘fielding’ most of the times; wherever I stood, it was a Silly point!
Finally, I reinforced my natural talent of playing chess, billiards and bridge. The last one suited me immensely since, unlike other games that I tried, I didn’t have to play when I was the dummy – which, in other games, was most of the times. Also, since ships are controlled from the Bridge, it appeared to me that I was engaged in something ‘professional’.
Lo and behold, I found like-minded ‘professionals’ in the other two services too. So when we went for a FAT (Forward Area Tour) in the treacherous hills of the North East, we had our foursome complete (Please see the accompanying picture to see what I looked like during that trip).
The four of us thoroughbred ‘professionals’ sat in the rear of a one tonner, around a large tyre and played Bridge. A one tonner in those hills is as far from comfort as Sunny Leone is from being regarded as the next Mother Theresa. We tossed, the cards tossed, our baggage tossed but we somehow played. We gave a new meaning to why a pair of games in Bridge is called a Rubber; in our case it was simply because it was on an MRF rubber tyre that the game was held.
All of you would remember that scene in Titanic when after hitting the iceberg, it is sinking; but, the orchestra dutifully keeps on playing. Well, a navy officer, an IAF officer and two army officers from Staff College exhibited similar commitment; there were landslides along the way, halts and obstructions. But, we played Bridge as if our life depended on it. Four of us had discovered our calling in life.
We were oblivious of the fact that behind our one tonner was the Jeep of an IAF Group Captain S, the IAF Senior Instructor during our times. We were totally oblivious of the fact that despite the relative comfort of his jeep ride, he was eyeing us wistfully.
After hours of journeying in this fashion, when we halted for lunch, Groupie S’s tolerance gave way. He approached our one tonner and said, “How would one of you like to ride in the jeep whilst I take his place?”
We pulled cards from the pack at random and divine justice was done! The IAF officer pulled the lowest card and Groupie S replaced him.
All of you who have undergone Staff Course would remember the apartheid of the DSs; you ain’t even allowed to pee in the same piss-pot as them. But, here we had the Senior Instructor of the Air Force happily sitting with us around a tyre in the rear of a one-tonner and playing Bridge.
Some ‘Bridging the Gap’ it was!
P.S. This was the only recorded incident in the history of Contract Bridge wherein the ‘dummy‘ sat in another vehicle and made faces at us until it hurt.
So finally the Staff Course Special drops you at Mettupalayam station and you travel by bus to Staff College in Wellington (Nilgiris). You marvel at the beauty of the blue mountains with their eucalyptus trees and other foliage. You take in the allurement of the winding road of Kallar Ghat itself with its 14 hair-pin bends.
All throughout the way, the verdure and freshness do not leave you. There is only one feeling when you reach the DSSC: Yeh dil maange more.
The quaintness of the place, its sahib culture, and the babudom of the armed forces at its best/worst all make you want to quickly get out of the stifling class rooms, auditoria and the Div Discussion rooms and soak in the beauty of the hills and the valleys and especially the tea gardens.
So, after a week or so of your settling down, you go exploring during the weekends. The first few trips are naturally around Coonoor: Lamb’s Rock, Law’s Falls, Doorg etc, before you venture to Ooty, Dodapeta and Kotagiri with their Botanical Garden, Lake, beauty of the mountain peak and Tea Estates.
The family at Dolphin’s Nose
One of the Tea Estates
At this juncture, you are one with nature and your family because the majority of the families has not yet ventured out. Perhaps, you would come across some film shooting or the other (we saw quite a few of them because our stay there coincided with the height of militancy in Kashmir and hence Ooty and Coonoor emerging as locations for films-shooting alternate to Srinagar).
A film shooting in progress at Lamb’s Rock. Our son Arun made so much of noise during the shooting that we were politely asked to leave!
But, later, whenever you want to get away from the milling crowds of would be sahibs in the armed forces, you find that any place that you ‘discover’ in the clearings of the tea-estates or forests has already been taken. It would be somewhat similar to spending an afternoon at Wellington Gymkhana Club.
One day, the family was determined to find a ‘quiet’ place (a euphemism for a place without the would-be-babus-in-uniform) for an afternoon picnic. We packed a hamper of beer, cold drinks and eatables and drove off from Staff College. We tried many a place but discovered that their ‘quietness’ was deceptive and masked by the sound of water-falls or other activity. The fact was that our brethren and sisters from the Staff College were everywhere and merrily breathing in the pure breeze and oxygen that we wanted to fill our lungs with.
I am a Punjabi and I can assure you that there is nothing like a ‘determined’ Punjabi. I was prepared to go to any length to find a picnic place whose tranquillity was not marred by others of my ilk. So we drove and drove and found that our counterparts had taken over the entire world like those aliens from Mars. There was no place free of them.
I would have given up but my primary school time story of King Bruce and the undefeated Spider came haunting me and filled me with renewed energy to ape the bally spider and mark my place in history. I weaved myself a web that KB’s spider would have been proud of, going into this road and coming out from that. KB’s spider at least knew where it was; but, I had soon become Christopher Columbus’s newest reincarnation trying to discover a new world.
Finally, after about 115 kms of travel (around the globe, that is), Christopher Ravi Columbus reached the brave new world; a picnic spot that had everything that you could ask for: closeness to the road so that the Maruti 800 could be parked there, it had shade and overlooked a beautiful valley that looked distantly charming and fascinating with a blanket of mist over it.
We spread our durrie and laid out the drinking and eating stuff and started taking photographs. I read out Robert Frost and Keats and Wordsworth and felt happy that finally after much travel we had found the place that we were looking for.
“This is life”, I said with squeals of unadulterated joy.
“Agree” said Lyn, “This IS life”
“Ditto” said Arjun and Arun.
The mist was clearing away in the valley below and I took out the binoculars that I had purchased during one of my foreign-cruises.
“Beautiful”, I ejaculated adjusting the focus and then passed on the binocs to A&A. They said nothing on earth would be so beautiful. It was worth travelling 115 kms from Staff College to find this spot. The kids and I were thinking how to mark the spot for future generations on a large rock; somewhat similar to the rock at Cape of Good Hope.
But, then, the binocs were now with Lyn, who is, a practical sort of a woman. Whereas we had gone into the motions of adjusting the focus without seeing anything clearly; she actually focussed and said with finality: “Ravi, Arjun, Arun, please look again; the place looks familiar”.
I brushed it aside saying that since she was from that part of the world, ‘everything’ would look familiar to her. Anyway, she passed on the binocs to me and I looked into it with the clear focus that it now provided. And, there lay before us, the Defence Services Staff College with its red roofs and tall araucaria trees!
This is what the binoculars showed
After beer and lunch when we drove down we discovered we were just 1.7 kms above the Staff College; but, had gone around 115 kms to get to that spot.
Scene By Scene (Long Story and Hence Only Selected Scenes)
Scene I
I was posted at Navy’s Leadership School at Agrani (to be pronounced as ug-ruh-nhi meaning ‘Leading’; and not as something that is translated as fire-queen that everyone mis-pronounces it always) from 1978 to 1980. I met Lyn for the first time in Coimbatore wherein INS Agrani is situated. Her charming ways touched the chords of my heart and the tinkle of heavenly music they created hasn’t stopped resonating even now. Her smile was and is the sound of glockenspiel; her talk breathlessly exciting; and she was and is simplicity personified. Once when I teased her for being fat, she pointed to a buffalo and asked, “As fat as that, is it?” Her naiveté readily disarms any attempts to show her down and I stopped doing it even in jest long time back.
We had been talking on the phone and seeing each other as often as we could. In Jan 1980, we went by train to Palghat and spent an entire day at the dam picnicking. By evening, we returned by train to Coimbatore. At the exit, a railway official wanted to see our tickets. I proudly exhibited our return tickets. It came out that those tickets were for passenger trains whereas we had returned by an Express. Even though I showed my Navy I – Card too to the official, he fined us all of 100 rupees (a large sum during those days). He made out a receipt for the fine in the name of – hold your breath – Lieutenant and Mrs. RPS Ravi. We still possess that receipt as the first ‘official‘ acknowledgement of our intent.
Scene II
She was apprehensive of my leaving her in 1980 to attend the Long C (Communications) course at Signal School, Cochin. But, I made up for it by visiting her as often as I could. I had bought a Yezdi 250 cc, KEE 438, from M/s Tharakan & Co, and I not only visited her on this mobike (in later years we called it ‘donkey’ since it not just carried us but many other household things including cooking gas cylinders), but also took her to Coonoor on it whereat we spent an entire weekend with her aunty Daisy (who was a teacher to Vyjayanthimala). Everyone thought of us as a married couple. And this at a time when people still looked down on love – marriages. As an aside I can tell you that recently one of the TED Talk Speakers in my company Reliance sent me a link to his talk on how to discover uniqueness in yourself. I wrote back to him that I must be a living example of uniqueness: I chose my own name rather than family name; I chose my career (Navy) as far removed from parental expectations as possible; I chose my own religion (I was born a Sikh); I chose my own life-partner. When our children came into the family, I helped them discover their own uniqueness (Read: Diminishing Dad).
Scene III
After the Long course, my posting came to INS Talwar in Bombay. There were no cellphones during those days. She had, therefore, communicated by letter her apprehension that as physical distance increased between us, I would forget about her. So, on 24th March 1981, I took the morning train from Cochin to Coimbatore whereas the rest of the coursemates travelling to Bombay were to travel by evening train passing through Coimbatore at 10 PM. Good friend AS Bajwa took her and me to a temple where the priest married us – me a Sikh and she a Catholic but married in a Hindu temple. In the afternoon, we went to the district court and got our marriage registered.
In the night before the train pulled out of Coimbatore station, I asked her if she was apprehensive of us anymore. She knew she had a gentleman to spend the rest of her life with.
I joined the rest of my course mates in the train on my wedding night and gave them sweets. They wanted to know what was the occasion. I told them I had got married. No one could believe it. One or two of them even suggested that I was pissed even before having a drink with them.
On Talwar in 1981 in Sanyas before Lyn joined me!
Scene IV
It took me six months to get a temporary accommodation in Naval Coastal Battery (NCB) Worli. And then I called her over to Bombay to join me.
I had nothing with me. I went to Indian Naval Canteen Service (Gol canteen) and bought the following on IPP (Instalment Payment Plan):
Six steel dining plates.
Six steel side plates.
Six each steel spoons, forks, knives, bowls and glasses.
One twin burner gas chullah.
One plastic bucket and mug.
One tawa.
One frying pan.
Two other pans.
Two steel pateelah.
One 165 ltr Godrej Gold fridge.
Three plastic containers to keep sugar, tea and salt.
Six pearl-pet bottles.
Lo and behold, I had a functional house going! In the next one year I paid all the instalments! Bajwa was promoted to become a LtCdr on the day before she arrived. So we drank and drank to celebrate his promotion as also to signify the end of my bachelorhood six months after our wedding. At one O’ clock in the night, Bajwa and I went to Oberoi hotel to have coffee and that’s when I told him that when I would take my wife home, I couldn’t even offer her tea since I had neglected to buy sugar. So, Bajwa spread a paper napkin on the table, emptied out the hotel’s sugar pot, bundled the napkin and gave to me. I then told him that I was going to receive my wife and I hadn’t got any flowers. He convinced me that buying flowers from the hotel’s shop would ruin my plans for the first month of marriage. He, with great ceremony, took out the single rose from the table vase and handed it to me to receive Lyn with.
Receiving Lyn at Bombay VT with the Rose taken from Oberoi Hotel restaurant Samarkand’s vase,
And that’s how we went to receive Lyn at Bombay VT at 6 AM.
At Worli Sea Face together after six months of marriage.
Our one room house in NCB Worli!
It was a one room house (not one room BHK, but just one room) Some of the items that I bought for kitchen are seen!First Navy Ball together as wedded couple!
Scene V
My dad hadn’t given his consent for the wedding. So one day I wrote to him about how we got married. The last line of my letter read: “We haven’t got much; but we ain’t poor.”
As my mom read out the letter to him – and my mom told this to me later – he thumped his chest with pride and said, “That’s my son. No one in our family was ever poor and no one would ever be.”
On the 12th of Dec 1982 we were married (again) in Kandaghat in the manner in which dad and mom wanted in front of our larger family.
Finally re-married on 12th Dec 1982 in traditional way
Here is a picture of the reception on the night of 12th Dec 1982:
Scene VI
In Aug 1983 I was to go to Rome for the second year in succession to accept an Electronic Warfare system. And, I told Lyn that I would take her. She said we didn’t have money (we never had). I told her I would apply for a loan from my DSOP Fund (Defence Services Officers Provident Fund) on the all encompassing clause, “Urgent domestic requirement necessitating inescapable expenditure”. It is another story how I got her passport made, visas for Italy and France done and ticketing done in less than a week’s time. It is yet another story that she nearly travelled alone (she was to travel from Bombat whilst I was to join from Delhi after obtaining government sanction and the babus there nearly botched it up). But then all’s well that ends well and we visited Italy, France and England for three weeks on a shoe-string budget of just Rupees 20000 including her two way fare. In Paris, for example, we stayed in a Youth Hostel at equivalent of five dollars per head!
Crossing the English Channel (a trip on shoe-string budget)
Scene VIl
Arjun was conceived during this trip and born on 14th May 1984. On 1st of May, my world crashed; my father died in a jeep accident on a morning when in the evening, he and my mom were going to travel to Bombay to be with us for Lyn’s delivery. There was a tussle between him and I as to where the delivery would take place. He insisted that the delivery should be in Lady Reading hospital Shimla performed by his trusted doctor Mrs. Anita Sood whereas I had told him that it would be in INHS Asvini. In the end, in his death, he won. It was as if when one candle was snuffed, another was kindled in the same family.
Arjun the joy of our life
Scene IX
Arun was born in even worse conditions. I was posted on Ganga and remembering the traumatic circumstances of Arjun’s birth, we planned Arun’s birth during the period when Ganga would be under a short refit in December. But then The PM Rajiv Gandhi and his wife Sonia decided to visit Andaman and Nicobar islands and the ship selected to take them there was Ganga. My CO said he couldn’t spare me during this period. Lyn therefore went entirely on her own (helped by Mrs Kohli and other ladies) to Asvini, quickly delivered Arun, and returned home to also look after Arjun who was barely two and a half at that time. We were on the 10th floor of Meena building and we prayed that the lifts which frequently broke down, would function for her going to hospital and return. I saw Arun a month after he was born. But then, I had seen my wife six months after we were married.
Arun, the ecstasy of our life
Scene X
Despite my dad consenting to get us married, I refused to take anything at all from him. Lyn’s parents were too poor to help us. But, we not just managed; we lived – you have guessed it – rich. On our 20th anniversary, 14 years ago, on this day, we bought us a gift from Archies: a wooden plaque with the inscription, “We don’t have much; but, we have each other”.
However, we were, are, and will always be rich. As my dad said no member of our family will ever be poor. As long as we are together, the flowers will grow and we have the riches of precious memories:
In the first episode of ‘The Tail Wags The Dog And How!’ I had told you about the business end of the Navy being at sea; but, controlled by the ‘heads’ in headquarters who have specialised in dishing out detailed instructions on every conceivable subject. It is as if their efficiency is directly proportional to the number of reams of paper that they dish out.
All of us have been at both ends; but, we seem to forget our travails at sea the moment we are at headquarters.
Once, when I was the Command Communications Officer at Headquarters, Eastern Naval Command, Visakhapatnam, we were conducting an operation that involved shore based aircraft, ships and a small Seaward Defence Boat (SDB) in the Palk Bay. We had put all the craft at sea on a Common Fixed Net. Every SITREP (Situation Report) and every instruction was passed to everyone so that “everyone would be in the picture”. Good idea? Well, hours went by and we found that the SDB wasn’t reacting to any of the instructions that we had sent it. Series of meetings were held in the MOR (Maritime Operations Room; now MOC, ie, Maritime Operations Centre). In one of the meetings late in the night, the Chief of Staff asked me why was the SDB not responding to the volley of our instructions. My reply: “Sir, the SDB has received the messages but it has not decrypted them; we haven’t given it long enough pause when it can do so, what with a single communication operator on watch”.
If you think the communication gap between headquarters and units at sea is one way only, you are sadly mistaken. In every Command there is something called a Command Meeting that is held on quarterly basis in a year and hence called QCM or Quarterly Command Meeting . All Commanding Officers, Directors, and Officers-in-Charge attend the meeting together with Headquarters big-wigs, Fleet Staff and other concerned authorities ashore, for example, from Materiel Organisation and Naval Dockyard. For an agenda point to come up to the level of the QCM, it would have originated with the ships a few months ago. Out of all the points received, the Command Staff would select only those points that they consider significant points; this expression roughly translated into ‘points that they (the Command Staff) has some clue/answer about’. And yet, the decisions on most points after deep discussions at QCMs are that the points need to be deliberated further. At this stage, the C-in-Cs, seized with the desire to be seen pro-units-at-sea, direct that the concerned point be kept open until a solution is found.
Sometimes, the Command Staff would select a point so as to show-down a ship or unit that would have raised it. The ultimate idea would be to bring out how poorly informed the ship/unit would be in bringing out an unnecessary point for which the solution already existed within the resources already made available to the ship. Discussions on such points show the Command Staff being ahead of the genuine needs of the ship.
In one of the QCMs, I remember, one of the small missile-boats put up an agenda point that missile boats under refit should be given the services of a lighter transport so as to land defective motors, pumps etc at the various centres of the dockyard. After considerable discussion, the Commanding Officer was asked to specify the number of trips that such a lighter would be required for, render his report in a month’s time, so as to enable the Command Staff to arrive at a workable solution. I met the Commanding Officer during the tea-break and he was vowing never to put up an agenda point again.
(Pic courtesy: www.ccal.org)
The point is that the ‘heads’ at headquarters have the ship’s heads easily outnumbered and can beat them in discussions, debates, analyses and research on points. The ship’s staff who give these agenda points never learn this simple truth.
In one of the QCMs, a point was given by me that the Headquarters take a long time in responding to the points given by the ships and units. For some reason, the point was selected as an agenda point by the heads at the headquarters. The decision given was that there should be no issue from the ships that should be kept pending for more than a fortnight. Various colour schemes were worked out by the heads at the headquarters. If a solution is provided, it would be viewed as a Green issue. If it was kept pending for a month, it would be deemed as Amber issue. And if after a month, the response wasn’t given, it would be deemed as Red issue.
Excellent solution? Well, after six months of this colour scheme being in vogue, one fine day, I received an important mail from headquarters that read: “Your quarterly return of Red, Amber and Green issues not yet received; request expedite.” You can’t beat the heads at headquarters; people like afloat people who change overnight the moment they walk the corridors of headquarters.
(Pic courtesy: www.dreamstime.com)
I came across several exceptions to the rule too and these are the people who take it upon themselves to do something rather than write something. Let me give you three examples to tell you how easy is the former option. One of these was a Senior Staff Officer (Budget) at Headquarters, Western Naval Command. I visited him once with a hand delivered letter asking for a sanction under I & M Grant (Incidentals and Miscellaneous Grant) for buying office accessories. When I wanted to deliver the letter to one of the clerks in his office, the clerk asked me to deliver it personally to saab. Saab was a Captain and I was sure he’d take it amiss for an officer from subordinate unit seeing him directly for a petty matter. He had one look at it, went out with it to the clerk I had seen earlier, came back and got busy in phone calls and other office work. Fifteen minutes went by and I was feeling fidgety that my letter wasn’t receipted. Another ten minutes and I was now feeling totally depressed and told him that it doesn’t take that much time to give a receipt to a letter. At this juncture the clerk came in with a file on which my letter asking for sanction was there and – hold your breath – a sanction letter!
Another was Logistic Officer-in-Charge of the Naval Pay Office. Before retiring from the Navy in the year 2010, I phoned him about how long would it take for me to start receiving pension. He enquired whether I had completed the booklet of forms sent by Naval Headquarters and he would use my case as a test case for obtaining pension within a week. And he did. He is now a Flag Officer at Naval Headquarters. I rejoiced the day he was promoted.
I have dozens of these examples too.
However, for the vast majority, staff work, file-work, and need to be stickler to rules and regulations keep the tail wagging the dog.
This majority has an answer to every problem of yours in the form of yet another detailed instructions.
The business end of the Navy is at sea: the ships, submarines and aircraft; the Navy being the truly three-dimensional force amongst the armed forces of the union of India. However, the Navy has something common with the other forces in that it has another dimension ashore: the headquarters. The headquarters has – hold your breath – heads; what else? These heads roll out stuff that people at sea sometimes find difficult to comprehend.
Do you remember the story of a Russian trying to sell a radio set to a farmer in Siberia, by his sales-pitch: “With this radio set, comrade, you can be in any part of Russia and still be able to hear Moscow”?
The farmer, in the story, wasn’t impressed and asked: “But, do you have anything by which Moscow can hear us?”
It is the same disconnect between headquarters and units at sea sometimes. It appears to people at sea that these ‘heads’ ashore dish out reams and reams of paper on every conceivable subject. Lets say, for example, that a VIP Visitor on board puts his or her hand/foot/other parts of body exactly where the sign says: ‘Wet Paint; Don’t Touch’; the headquarters are likely to issue detailed instructions titled: ‘Instructions For Receiving VIPs on Board Ships And Submarines’ complete with several appendices and annexures.
They expect you to read and follow the plethora of these instructions. However, your one or even half pager enumerating problems on board doesn’t see the light of the day. If you insist on a response and send some gentle reminders, you are likely to get a cryptic reply: “Refer to your Letter such and such dated such and such. Your attention is drawn to WENCO (Western Naval Command Orders) such and such, article such and such.”
In case you are a persistent one and notice that the article in question doesn’t exist, you can write another letter bringing out that the quoted article doesn’t exist. But then, you are back to square one. As also, you, busy in getting your point across to headquarters, missed sending them the fortnightly return on VIP Visitors on Board as asked for by Appendix P of Letter regarding ‘Instructions For Receiving VIPs On Board Ships And Submarines’. Headquarters and Police are two unique organisations where the customer is always wrong.
Captain KK Kohli on newly commissioned Ganga had got fed-up of headquarters indulgence in every matter on board except where their inputs were specifically requested for. Once we received detailed instructions on receiving some foreign dignitaries on board including a lavish lunch for them post PLD (Pre Lunch Drinks). KKK requested for a sanction for X Rupees. As always, headquarters approved an amount X divided by 50. Headquarters heads do this kind of thing for no r or r. The sanction letter said the menu for the party may be sent for C-in-C’s approval.
KKK’s reply was classic:
“1. Refer to HQWNC Letter such and such dated such and such.
2. Based on Headquarters sanction, the menu for the party would be:
a) Half pint of beer for half the people and Nimbupaani for the other half.
b) Rice and dal for lunch together with PPK.
c) One Eclair each as dessert.”
Needless to say the heads at headquarters saw not just the comedy in KKK’s mail but also merit. A fresh sanction letter of X amount was released and……this was to be seen to be believed……there was no mention of sending “draft menu for C-in-C’s approval”.
The title of this post sounds a bit parochial since it doesn’t include the other two services. Well, there is a reason. Read on.…
When I was undergoing the Staff Course in Wellington (Nilgiris), in the Castle Quarters that we stayed in, there were three other houses: one belonging to an IAF officer and the other two to army officers. The IAF officer Thakurdesais and us occupied the ground floor whereas the Army officers, as always, were the upper-crust due to sahayaks that they had at their disposal. So, whilst Lyn and I did everything with our own hands, the army sahibs and ladies had a number of flunkies helping them. When the rations were delivered, for example, we stood in the queues with their sahayaks whilst they looked down on us from their balconies, sipping Nilgiri tea and biting on cocktail idlis.
I got posted to Naval Headquarters after that and after a few months of waiting, we were allotted a flat in SP Marg defence quarters. Our immediate neighbour was an Arty Colonel Surinder Singh.
Once, we were getting ready to go for an official party, when the door-bell rang and there stood Nachhinder, Col Surinder’s wife. Both Surinder and Nachhinder were very genial and excellent neighbours and we had a great thing going as neighbours and friends.
When Lyn opened the door, she had my uniform shirt in her hand since she was in the process of fixing stripes and other paraphernalia.
This gave Nachhinder an opportunity to rag me though I was not present. “Look at yourself, Lyn” she said in mock horror, “Your good for nothing husband has converted you into a flunkie. Call him. I shall teach him not to ill-treat the lady of the house”.
I was in an inside room but could clearly hear the conversation.
“He can’t come out now” replied Lyn with great finality.
“Aha” ejaculated Nichhinder in mock scorn, “The laat-sahib is resting whilst you are doing all the menial work for him….”
“No” said Lyn, “He can’t come out now because he is ironing my saree”.
(Pic courtesy: imgkid.com)
P.S. Now, do you understand why navy couples are meant for each other?!
P.P.S. We also didn’t have much though in our hearts we were rich and still are. On one of our early anniversaries, we bought a plaque and hung it in the house. It gave us enormous happiness and satisfaction. It read: “We don’t have much but we have each other”. We tried to make up with Love what we lost because of not having flunkies and riches.
Part II
“SPECIAL” WEEKEND BREAKFAST
What is so “special” about a breakfast of Parathas, Sooji Halwa, Aloo Bhaaji, Dahi; you may ask?
Well, only this that my wife and I made it together with our kitty Minnie helping as much as she could by excitedly jumping all around the kitchen.
Laajwaab?
When a meal is made together
By a husband and his wife
It is full of Love and Sweetness
The meal itself has Life.
What we make is not so important
The process is full of fun
Too many cooks spoil the broth, they say,
But, what if they cook like one?
It is the best way to start the day
Making a meal that’s so rare
It is a treat not just for the mouth
You pair, you care, you share.
Thanks Lyn for making life as beautiful as this breakfast together.
