Ladies and gents, guys and gals,
Did any of you see this rip-roaring American comedy starring Michelle Pfeiffer and Matthew Modine? Michelle Pfeiffer did the role of her lifetime as Angela de Marco, wife of gangster Frank “The Cucumber” de Marco. Matthew Modine acted as Agent Michael “Mike” Downey, the undercover FBI agent assigned the task of investigating her mafia connections.
So, you have understood the name but must be wondering what has this got to do with my Facebook Group ‘Humour In And Out Of Uniform’ or HIAOOU for short? Well, if you look at the poster, you will read the words: “They’re her family….. whether she likes or not”!
And now you’d start seeing the connection! We have any number of these young, wistful girls who marry armed forces officers because they are impressed by the uniform, smartness and the daring. Star-stuck, they keep dreaming of the time they would be alone with the husbands….however, the mob never leaves the husband. It takes sometime for it to sink with them that the mob is the family.
My wife and I, for example, married in love (some of you must have seen and read some of my posts about us, eg, ‘Lyn And I – Scene By Scene’ and ‘Navy Couples – Made For Each Other (A Valentine’s Day Post’). I cautioned her that during our wedded life, friends may land up home any time; but, I don’t suppose the full impact of it registered with her…….well, until, they actually landed up! As I offered them drinks and told her to come up with some small-eats, she whispered to me, with more than a slight edge: “But, we’ve had our dinner long time ago.” After 35 years of being with the ‘family…..whether she likes or not’, this initial comment of hers appears downright naive to her only, now! She can now hold classes for ‘young, wistful girls marrying armed forces officers‘ with this opener: “Decades before Airtel got this ad, the faujis knew that ‘Har ek friend zaroori hota hai‘. There is nothing like rustling up left-overs for the friends; your husbands and they would demand the best. So, you ought to be prepared at all times.”
Now the other side!
I was posted as a bachelor officer in Navy’s Leadership School for Sailors: INS Agrani in Coimbatore and CRJ was our XO (Second-in-command). A few of us (four to be exact) were bachelors and, in the nights, we raided married officers houses in rotation. None of the ladies needed any classes to understand how to treat us; they were the epitome of hospitality, affection and generosity.
One day, CRJ, in order to (re)establish authority as XO (second-in-command is after all second-in-command!) told us in mock-anger that we created too much ruckus in his house during our last raid. He was, otherwise, the sweetest of the souls and so was Mrs. J. We, the bachelors, had a conference and decided that probably Mrs. J didn’t like our boisterous nature and hence CRJ’s bemoaning. So, we decided, (as in naval slang) ‘with immediate effect‘, to skip CRJ’s house during raids.
Ladies and gents, this continued for two weeks. We raided every other house but CRJ’s. After this period, we were urgently summoned to CRJ’s office. As we entered, he closed the door behind us and then – hold your breath – he broke down completely! He said Mrs. J had been berating him every night with, “The gang has stopped coming to our house only. You must have told them something bad. Shame on you. Have you forgotten your days as a bachelor? Now, do something before we are permanently ostracised.”
And so the cycle continues!
Today you are the ‘Mob’, tomorrow, you are ‘Married’!
