The latter, that is, the NHQ way, there is never any panic, never an urgency; you deliberate everything and then either decide or not decide, mostly the latter. I was in the Directorate of Tactics and I couldn’t imagine our forces having reached off Karachi and frantically ringing us up and requesting us to quickly send the next set of tactics!
Compare this with the scenario when you are on the ships; there is always panic, always urgency: everything is to be done by yesterday.
When I used to be on the ships I used to think as to why couldn’t the headquarters quickly reach a decision and transmit to us and all concerned at the fastest. When I was at Naval Headquarters I discovered why.
Before my posting to Directorate of Tactics, I was briefly posted at Directorate of Signals (DNS). People think communicators are dumb, but, the brilliant guys before me had taken up the office in the basement of C Wing in Sena Bhawan. Now, being in the basement, one doesn’t get any natural air. Hence, the whole directorate was air-conditioned unlike any other directorate in NHQ. That’s why, it was a great comedown for me to be posted in Directorate of Tactics, in Heat and Dust, after that (Please read: ‘They Also Serve Who Are In Naval Headquarters! – Part III – A-Block Hutments’).
I was to be ADNS (EW), an Assistant Director in my specialisation: Electronic Warfare. This was a very curious emerging field. In high level and middle level discussions, I was amazed to discover that just about everyone knew the intricacies of EW and the only ignoramuses were the guys like me responsible for it.
Soon after my DD welcomed me, I shifted to my office adjoining him and then the mail folder for the day arrived. There were about three dozen letters and I thought in my mind that they all ranged from being highly urgent to critical. Indeed, at least five of them were marked ‘MOST IMMEDIATE’. I tightened up my girdles and started either answering them or gathering material to answer them. By about 5:30 PM, my DD glanced into my room and found me deeply engrossed in work. He asked me, “Youngster, what are you up to?” I told him. He sighed (clearly at my stupidity; we communicators know how to decode) and said, “But these have not been put up to you, as yet”. I learnt that irrespective of the urgency, things have to be PUT UP TO you first before you start responding.
One day, I think it was a week later, a note arrived from DCNS (Deputy Chief of Naval Staff) Secretariat marked Most Immediate. It seemed that our Director had gone to attend a meeting there of PSOs (Principal Staff Officers) to discuss the urgent need to have an ELINT (Electronic Intelligence) platform to gather ELINT at sea; somewhat similar to what the Americans and Russians were engaged in doing in the oceans and seas of the world. Any squeak anywhere of any radio and radar frequency and these platforms would pick it up, analyse and build up data banks and bring out inferences that can be used later. A few months back, if you recall, it was in the media that Scorpene submarines data had been leaked. Well, submarines use acoustic data and ships and aircraft make use of electronic data. The plan, according to the note, was to convert one of the existing ships into such a role.
I was sitting with the DD when this note arrived. I read it aloud and squealed with joy that finally Electronic Warfare was reaching somewhere. He observed me for sometime as a psychiatrist would observe a loony character. There was an incredulous look on his face that one of his ilk wasn’t able to find the fly in the ointment. I read the note three times more and confirmed to him that I couldn’t find the catch.
With great stress, like how Geetanjali Aiyar used to read the news on Doordarshan during those days (she used to read it as if she was addressing mentally unbalanced children), DD then explained to me that such a platform would be disaster for him and me since we would be stuck maintaining it with the limited means/resources that we had. Already, we were facing gargantuan problems by stealing from Peter to pay Paul; that is cross-fitting equipment parts (the NHQ word for that is ‘cannibalising’) from one ship to the other. And hence, we would be always on the receiving end of disturbing queries and complaints from all and sundry (I have already mentioned that ‘all and sundry‘ ‘knew‘ more about Electronic Warfare than the experts; looking from left to right, he and me).
Eureka, even I saw it now. Fortunately, unlike the Greek mathematician Archimedes, I was not in the bath tub and hence it wasn’t scandalising.
I left the note to the DD for his ‘expert’ handling since by that time the Director had called on the interphone to handle it pronto.
By the end of the day, the DD had drafted out a file noting. It sounded so sincere and – hold your breath – urgent. The crux was:
1. DND (Directorate of Naval Design) to confirm the structural soundness of the mast to take the following equipment (and he named the equipment). He told me with a chuckle that the most urgent mails are normally responded by DND in about six months time (they have a ‘process’ to be followed).
2. DEE (Directorate of Electrical Engineering) to work out the electric supplies that would be required and if these supplies can be met with existing generators on board or an additional generator would be required. In case an additional generator is required, DME (Directorate of Marine Engineering) to work out together with DND as to where such a generator could be fitted and its effect on overall stability.
I am not repeating his entire list here but, there were a dozen directorates mentioned to specifically workout something or the other.
And then he mentioned with a glint (don’t confuse it with Elint, guys and girls!) in his eyes that the earliest he expected total response from everyone, after a dozen queries from each and urgently called for coordination meetings, would be at least one and half years. By that time, let the next DD worry about it.
Brilliant, Sir, I told him with total respect due for a professional. Two quick lessons I had learnt in just one week of being in NHQ: One, you can read a mail and even soak its contents but action/response on it should wait until it is PUT UP TO you. And two, every response must necessarily follow Darwinian theory of evolution coupled with need and suitable actions for self-preservation.
By the way, in one of the files, I found my own letter from a ship that was conducting trials of a new EW equipment. The letter had asked for NHQ decision on a particular point urgently, BEFORE the foreign team went back on Christmas holidays. It was two years ago! Jesus Christ was reborn twice since that letter.
Like I said in my first post: ‘They Also Serve Who Are In Naval Headquarters!’
Sir – been there, felt that. We are ourselves not too bad at babugiri.
One observation – I know you did not mean to offend but the reference to the mentally challenged spastics is insensitive
Thank you, Pradeep. Fortunately I take every comment seriously. I have corrected the offending part. I must, however, mention that it was the way a Columnist in TOI (exact words) described Geetanjali Aiyar in her Sunday post.