GOD AND I

It was dark, very dark. It must have been extra-sensory experience because though there was no light and she wasn’t shining or anything close to it, I could see her. I hadn’t seen her earlier, not even in my thoughts, but, I could recognise her instantly.

“God”, I told her in abject bewilderment, “How can I see you in the dark?”
She looked at me with equal dumbfoundment, “I am elated that you have the gumption to realise that God isn’t a He anymore. But, I am amazed that you can’t realise how you can see me. You see (“what an expression”, I thought) I make all rules, laws, science, philosophy, ideas and thoughts in the universe. So, I can make you see me even without the light.”

Courtesy: Angel Wallpapers

I know even my wife has the same power. She too can make me see what she wants me to see even in the dark. However, what an enromous power I would have, I thought, if this woman – sorry God – were to bestow upon me the ability to see everything in the dark? I wasn’t surprised when She read my thoughts and stopped me halfway in my new fantasy, “Don’t even think about it; you ain’t so special. Just because you call yourself sunbyanyname is no reason for me to give you extraordinary powers. First tell me, how did you figure out God is now a woman? It must be an independent thought because I didn’t give it to you.”

My, my, I actually had an ungodly thought. However, I let Her – God – know how I cottoned on to it (no point in having God against you), “I perceived it on facebook, twitter and blog.”

“Very observant, I say” She said, “But I think I made a big mistake. If someone half-witted as you could perceive that God is a woman, soon everyone will understand it. As it is people these days don’t believe in God; if they were to realise that I am a woman, all hell will break loose.”

“God” I reasoned with Her, “Let them know your true face (I nearly said facebook) or profile. Your angels on facebook, twitter and blog already know. So, why not let the men know it too?”

She wasn’t in a listening mood. Her mind was totally made up as most women’s minds. What she said next shocked me immensely, “I am thinking of taking away from men the thinking mind.”

I was flabbergasted; totally speechless. I instantly knew why She was doing it, so as to give a headstart to women in the same manner He or She had given to the men in the stone age. My first reaction was not to keep long hair lest She should reverse Time and have them (the women) go out and hunt and then drag us into the caves by our hair with their clubs resting on their shoulders. Anon I said, “We, men, are a proud lot. We would resent the loss of thinking mind.”

“No, you won’t” She said imperiously, “You won’t even realise the loss. For ages now you have let that thingy do the thinking for you. In any case you don’t use your mind much.”

Mindless, I thought. Really mindless.

Next moment, poof, and she was gone.

As sunbyanyname I am used to seeing the silver lining and I spotted it in a flash. If the women were to jeer us for our mindlessness as we taunt them for some attributes of theirs, we, men won’t have the mind to mind it.

P.S. This is my last thoughtful post. As She – God – decreed, soon men like me, real men that is, will have no mind to think.

Amen.

P.P.S. Come to think of it, She might change Amen to Awomen whilst keeping the meaning same.